The score synced here to the film should be regarded as an additional element availiable to be used in whole or part, or not at all, in staging GLEN OR GLENDA, the musical.

PART 1

(Turn on annotations.)

LYRICS
PART 1

OVER OPENING CREDITS:

GLEN OR GLENDA, GLENDA OR GLEN

THIS IS THE STORY OF GLENDA OR GLEN…!

GLEN OR GLENDA, GLENDA OR GLEN,

SOMETIMES THE ROOSTER, SOMETIMES THE HEN,

BORN TO BE BARBIE, DOOMED TO BE KEN,

THIS IS THE STORY OF GLENDA OR GLEN!

 

CUE:  …but they are not new, it’s the design of the ages…

WHEN YOU’RE A BROKEN AND BITTER OLD MAN

FRESH OUT OF FUTURE AND WITHOUT A PLAN

IT’S GOOD TO GET JUST AS DRUNK AS YOU CAN

    AND LET SATAN PULL THE STRINGS!

A BOTTLE OF GIN AND A SHOT OF VERMOUTH,

AN OLIVE OR TWO AND TO HELL WITH THE TRUTH,

WHEN ALL YOUR DREAMS ARE AS DEAD AS YOUR YOUTH

    JUST LET SATAN PULL THE STRINGS!

*

CUE: …A new life is begun…

AND WHEN I GET DRUNK I DELIGHT IN DESPAIR,

I LIKE TO THINK ON HOW LIFE IS UNFAIR,

I LIKE TO SPEND ALL MY TIME IN THIS CHAIR

   AND LET SATAN PULL THE STRINGS!

PART 2

Be certain to turn on Annotations.

LYRICS
PART 2

 CUE:  One might say, there but for the grace of God go I…

THERE’S A CRIME WAVE HITTIN’ OUR TOWNS

WHAT’S GOIN’ DOWN AIN’T PRETTY

DUDES IN SOME HAND-ME-DOWN GOWNS

ROAMIN’ AROUND THE CITY!

WALKING DOWN THE STREET YOU MAYBE MEET UP WITH A MY LADY FAIR,

BEFORE YOU TAKE A CHANCE YOU BETTER GLANCE AT JUST WHAT’S UP UNDER THERE!

IF YOU DARE!

THERE’S A CLOWN WAVE HITTIN’ OUR TOWNS,

A CIRCUS OF LAUGHS AND PITY,

IMPROPER PROPER PRONOUNS

THREATEN TO DROWN OUR CITY…!

RUMMAGING THROUGH YOUR DRAWERS,

IN ALL YOUR SHOPS AND STORES…!

*

CUE:  How about joining me for an after dinner drink?  In the living room?

I HAVE MET A MAN

AND LADIES, WHAT A CATCH,

BUT LADIES, WHAT A CATCH…

THOSE FINGERNAILS HAVE GOT TO GO!

WE HAVE MADE A PLAN

TO HONEYMOON THIS SPRING,

THAT’S SWELL, EXCEPT ONE THING,

THOSE FINGERNAILS HAVE GOT TO GO!

HE’S A MAN WHO UNDERSTANDS A GIRL,

COMPLIMENTS THE CLOTHES I WEAR,

WHAT KIND OF FATE IS THIS THAT HANDS A GIRL

A GUY WHO CAN DO NAILS AND HAIR!

IT’S REALLY DELICIOUS…

YET I AM SUSPICIOUS!

FOR I HAVE MET A MAN

WHO TREATS ME LIKE A QUEEN!

(HE LIKES TO KEEP IT CLEAN!)

THOSE FINGERNAILS HAVE GOT TO GO!

HE’S TOLD ME HE CAN

WAIT ‘TILL OUR WEDDING DAY,

I’M WONDERING IF HE’S GAY!

THOSE FINGERNAILS HAVE GOT TO GO!

LATELY, I’VE BEGUN TO WONDER THINGS

OR MAYBE I’M JUST LOSING WEIGHT,

SEEMS NONE OF MY CLOTHES OR UNDERTHINGS

FIT ME VERY WELL OF LATE…

OH, ISN’T IT SCREWY

WHAT LOVE HAS DONE TO ME?!

YES, I HAVE MET A MAN

AND THOUGH HE’S CHANGED MY LIFE

BEFORE I’LL BE HIS WIFE

THOSE FINGERNAILS HAVE GOT TO GO!

*

CUE:  …but life, though its changes are slow, moves on…

 GLEN OR GLENDA, GLENDA OR GLEN,

SOMETIMES THE ROOSTER, SOMETIMES THE HEN,

BORN TO BE BARBIE, DOOMED TO BE KEN,

THIS IS THE STORY OF GLENDA OR GLEN!

GLENDA OR GLEN, GLEN OR GLENDA,

LOOKING AT CRAP IN A DRESSMAKER’S WINDA’,

SORE THEY DON’T COME IN YOUR SIZE OR YOUR GENDA’

SHOPPING’S A PAIN WHEN YOU’RE A GLEN OR A GLENDA!

GLEN OR GLENDA, GLENDA OR GLEN,

THIS IS THE STORY OF GLENDA OR GLEN!